Have you ever loved someone so much, you could cry? I am never this cheesy with anything, I swear. But I miss him terribly. I am in this constant state of fear of losing him. Its killing me. I want him to move in with me. I want to sleep beside him for the rest of my life. I want to wake up and make him breakfast. I want to sit beside him on the couch, drink tea, and talk about our lives together. It’s all that I have ever wanted. And i feel like after everything that has happened, I almost deserve that. I deserve growing old with him and having kids with him, and getting married. I want us to get married. I want us to move in together. I want to be his everything.
But at the same time, i dont want to pull him away from his family just for me. I refuse to be one of “those girls” that is incredibly selfish towards their boyfriends and only thinks about themselves. I want him to be happy. I want us to be happy. I love hearing that is goes out to the bar with his friends and they have a awesome time. I miss hearing that he loves me, and then being able to kiss him. right then. i hate counting down the days until i get to be held again. Damnit. i should just be able to roll over and hug him. People may say that i am too young. bull shit. why does it matter what age we are? I have done some serious growing up over the last 6 weeks and i know that he is all i need to be happy. he is my happy.
he is my life.