Without struggle, there is no progress.

I still am in a weird mood today. My brother has moved away and I am pretty sure that he is finally in North Carolina. I don’t know how I feel about anything any more. I really like school, but its so stressful. Somedays, when its like today or basically this upcoming week, I realize that this is not what i signed up for. What i expected was a little dancing, a lot of singing, and a lot of acting. Instead…LOTS of STRESS. 

Oh dear.

So today, A. my roommate, had a bad day. It involved the classic retrieving frozen yogurt and then watching a movie of her choice. A. chose “Forrest Gump.” This is a movie i have never seen before. Yes, I know its shocking.. 

But the thing is…it made me sad. I know people say its a good movie and everything, but so many people die and struggle that I don’t want to see it again. I like movies that have a little sadness, but end with a LOT of happy. I guess it’s just the type of person i am. Anyways, I am left in this really strange state of emotion. 

Also, my brother moves away tomorrow. T. is off to North Carolina…I am terrified for him. I know he is going to do great things, and I love him dearly. I am just really going to miss him, and I know my parents are too. It makes me really sad that I am not there to say good bye to him. I don’t know how to fix it. My mom is visiting the following week so that will be nice to see her. Its been awhile…

I just want to run away. Like Forrest. 

It’s been rainy and cold the past couple of days. Thank God. I like it when it gets coldish here because that means no humidity! My hair is quite grateful. I get to see C. in about 5 days, and I could not be more excited. 

Today, we joked around about running away and eloping in Vegas. Starting out lives with a bang you could say. It was a nice picture. The thought of just packing up all my belongings and starting over. The weird thing is, I just finished doing that. I just put the final piece of my “new life” puzzle together, and now wanting to run away again? Its weird. I like to think of my self a well rounded person, regardless of the amount of sleep I get. But I really do enjoy the idea of spontaneity and consistency. 

I don’t know anything anymore. Except that I miss him. 

Thats all.